Asheville+Cheap Beer=Great Time

Alright, first let me say that the Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. is a really cool place. If you haven't been there here's a little description: If the Handle Bar, Blue Ridge Brewing Co., and Barley's gang-banged the Bijou; you would have the Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co.

When I first arrived in Asheville, I had to meet my business associate Mr. B at his hotel bar. He was already about 4 beers and 1 shot ahead of me. So after a beer and listening to some guy playing guitar and singing Operator by Jim Croce, we ventured out into the Asheville nightlife.

Once we arrived at the AP&B, I ordered a Newcastle, which was $2.50. I was really surprised b/c when you buy a Newcastle here in Greenvegas, it's like $3.25! Fuck, I'm saving 75 cents! It didn't help that they were going down like water too.

We ventured to the entrance of the theater and one of the waitresses told us that the movie that was playing has not let out yet. She then asked us if we had been to the AP&B, of course we said no, so she actually takes us on a tour of the place. She also lets us know that Patterson Hood is good friends with the brewmaster and her friend is babysitting Patterson's kid the next night when he plays there. Super friendly staff at the AP&B. Also while we were waiting in line I got to talk to Jason Isbell for a few seconds as he walked out of the bathroom. I asked him if he was ready to play and he said he would be after a few more pints of ale. Rock on! We also saw Shonna go to the bathroom too, Mr. B dared me to bust up in the women's bathroom w/my camera and go all paparazzi style on her. I advised Mr. B that I did not want to go to jail.

Finally around 11p.m. Jason Isbell took the stage. There was some kayak thing playing on the movie screen when he stepped on stage, he started playing shadow puppets, which he's not very good at. He played several songs I've never heard and his DBT songs. All in all it was a pretty average acoustic show but it was cool just to see him by his lonesome. At this time me and Mr. B needed action. I knew I could count on Mr. B to find it, well sort of.

Mr. B advised me of a place that he supplies goods to and that inbreds hang out there, but the bartender is hot. At this time I really didn't care where we went as long as I could drink. Well, we pull up to Cowboys Nitelife. I'm not even sure where the place is at(somewhere west of downtown on Patton Ave). It's kinda hard to describe this place with words. I should've taken my camera inside but then they might not have let me leave. Well, I'll try to describe it: It's like the Pub in Berea except the people look 10x worse but the people are 10x friendlier and there were 10x more people. I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. People drunk as shit, old people drinking coffee or soft drinks, very odd. By far me and Mr. B were the youngest there. It was also karoke night. Great. I tried to get Mr. B to sing but that wasn't happening b/c he was too busy dancing with the 50+yr. old drunk woman showing her tits. I tried to get a picture w/my camera phone but he caught me in the act and immediately stopped dancing. Soon after that I congratulated Mr. B for taking me to the "Weirdest place I've ever been to in my life." Shortly after Mr. B mentioned one more place we needed to go before the 2a.m. hour.

Mexican Restaurant. That's right, Mexican Restaurant, at least that's all the sign said(I did get a picture of it, I know I need to get my shit up on Flickr). This place wasn't so bad. It got even better when we found out they had 99 cent PBR! And of course, it was also karoke night. The song selection sucked, so we didn't get up and sing anything. Of course if we knew Spanish we could've sang lots of songs. Several drunk Mexicans singing karoke and some other people dancing all salsa style, pretty cool to watch when you're totally fucking drunk. Then there was this really cute Mexican girl doing the karoke deal and when she came around collecting the song books, she first looked at Mr. B and asked if we needed the book, then looked right at me, smiled and said in not so good English "I like your face." Normally this would catch me off gaurd, but not this night, too much alcohol. So trying to be as smooth as I can be, I say "Tu muy caliente." I'm not sure if she understood what I was trying to convey but she continued to smile and said in bad English "my face is hot but not my body." So I pointed out that her body was "muy caliente" as well, but she just laughed and took our song book and went on her merry way. Oh well, Mr. B got a kick out of the whole situation. I would totally go back to Mexican Restaurant on a Thursday night.

Well Mr. B's hotel was calling our names, so we headed back to get some well deserved rest. So if you're ever in Asheville on a Thursday night and someone says "let's go to Cowboys" you tell them "hell no, we're going to Mexican restaurant."